I have been gone for way too long. The story is long, and I am not ready to discuss the situation in length, but I am doing great.
Over the past year, I had ten surgeries and multiple complications, but that is for another day because I am now reclaiming my life. I have been in recovery from all eating disorders, and I struggled some while dealing with what happened to me. However, today I choose joy, and I have a lot to be thankful for because I am now a grandmother, my youngest just got engaged, I am just about ready to work again after almost 8 years, and I am officially done school on September 16th. Well, I say officially, but I am starting graduate school in January.
It is ok to have setbacks, but it is not ok to stay stuck in that place, and it took me time to relearn that this year. A very good friend said to me, “Not every day will be positive, but there is a positive in every day.” Each night I write a new poem to clear my head of the medical PTSD I now suffer from, which helps me hold onto the positives in my life.
You Will Never Be my Friend
Why did you come back when I was feeling so strong
What did I do, where did I go wrong
I did not faint
I already ate
I did not purge
I have not lost weight
I refuse to allow you to control my thoughts
You are not my friend, so please don’t pretend
I have climbed up before
I will not crawl
Your words cannot break me
I will not fall
A friend would never make you get down on your knees
To beg for life, you once promised me
I learned a lesson the other day that you cannot shake me or take me away
I left you once, and I will do it again; because you Ana, were never my friend
Find your Why in life, and run with it because life is too short to be unhappy.
Peace and Love