Relapse

relapse pic

After being thrown into a medically induced anorexia stage things have spiraled out of control, and I want to be real. It’s hard to battle back, but I have decided to go into a medical hospital to get my Nervous System back in control so that I can continue with my recovery. Sometimes life throws you curve balls, and it is up to you how you act and react to them, and my actions and reactions have caused me to trip, stumble, and fall, but I will never give up or lose the fight. I wrote these Lyrics to Demi Lovato’s song Sober after I was already on the ground, and planning a way to climb back up.

I got no excuses for the life I turned upside down.

I hope you’re still there when I need you because I am dead inside.

Catch me when I am fainting because I refused to eat, and keep the demons away as you watch me disappear

I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know why I do it every every every time
It’s only when I am terrified

Sometimes I just wanna be invisible, and I don’t want to try I cry, and I cry, and I cry, and I cry, and I cry just tell me you need me.

To my husband, I am so sorry I’m not in recovery anymore, and Kids, please forgive me when I throw food on the floor. To the team who’s never left me we’ve been down this road before. I’m so sorry I have relapsed once more.

I’m sorry for my future life, and for the life I left behind, making all those promises that stayed within my head.

I’m sorry for the friends I lost who watched me fail again.

I want to be a remodel, but I caved to anorexia again.

I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know I don’t know why I do it every every every time
It’s only when I am terrified

Sometimes I just wanna be invisible, and I don’t want to try I cry, and I cry, and I cry, and I cry, I cry just tell me you need me.

To my husband, I am so sorry I’m not in recovery anymore, and Kids, please forgive me when I throw food on the floor. To the team who’s never left me we’ve been down this road before. I’m so sorry I have relapsed once more.

I am not in recovery anymore…

 

I am sorry that I am here again

I am sorry to myself

It wasn’t my intention

I promise I’ll get help

© Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, BMG Rights Management, Universal Music Publishing Group: Demi Lovato (Sober) 2018 (Kelly Rossi, (2018) lyrics to the tune of Sober) https://youtu.be/vORIohoI4m0

2 thoughts on “Relapse

    1. Thank you! Absolutely. Going into the hospital today, and haven’t checked any emails in two days because of the pain. Taking my computer with me so I can catch up. They are shutting my body down, so everything will go through an IV to see if it helps. Ps: Haven’t had tine to comment because my nervous system doesn’t allow me to do things for long, but I would have sat next to you on the train.

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